Points to Ponder...Today I have been pondering this post from Matt Monarch's blog and what it may mean for me...
Here's an excerpt:
"There are hundreds of people who are not 100% Raw and decide to juice fast for 3 - 5 months at a time. When you do something like that, you do so much cleansing that it is like fast-forwarding the process. If I would have done a massive juice fast like this when I first went 100% Raw, there is no way that I could have then gotten away for 4-5 years afterwards eating a few avocados at a time without digestive discomfort. Going 100% Raw is like going on a 'fast' in itself, because you are eliminating all foods except for the most water rich foods out there, which also happen to be the LEAST damaging to the body.Most of the time, my recommendation to younger people who want to embark on a long-term juice fast is to just do a 100% Raw Food Diet 'Fast' to begin with.Don't get me wrong; juice fasting can be EXTREMELY beneficial.......Many younger people seem to just be intrigued with the 'status' of doing a long-term juice fast and they don't often really understand what they are getting themselves into. If you understand and are prepared, then more power to you..........The point of all this is that as the years go by, there is no need to stress out and rush the detox process. Slowly make improvements, as your body asks for them. This will happen naturally, as you become cleaner and cleaner. Before you know it, you will be eating very little food if you truly listen to your body."
So, to that end, I have been trying to unearth some of the hidden reasons I may have undertaken this juice feast. The primary reasons remain to feel better, improve my health, look younger, and lose weight. However, sometimes I can't help wondering what has kept me going when times have gotten really tough. Is it to prove to myself I can accomplish/achieve something? Is it to have absolute control over at least one aspect in my life? (My mom is sick right now and I'm feeling very helpless). Or is it to say "Hey, look at me. I did this really big thing?"
I'm not exactly sure what has continued to carry me through. Maybe all of the above. One thing is for sure, none of these "other" reasons point to a very healthy mental outlook. I can see I'm still detoxing, which is a great reason to keep feasting. I have to admit, though, at times it seems a lot more like a chore lately-like something that I'm toughing my way through.
I'm starting to wonder what I've gotten myself in to. After yesterday's "chip incident" it's evident to me that my body is way ahead of my mind at this point in terms of detox (I didn't give in, but I wanted to swallow that chip more than you know). I don't feel like I've shaken any of my SAD patterns yet after 54 days of juicing. What is that going to mean for me in another 38 days? Disaster? I sort of feel like I've had some kind of lapband procedure, but without the mental preparation.
(*listen up future feasters*)
This is not to discourage non-raw foodies from juice feasting, but in retrospect, I think it would have been much wiser on MY part to detox on a solid raw food diet for a period of time before undertaking this juice feast. By juice feasting first, I have essentially sent my body leaps and bounds ahead of my mind in terms of "cleaning house". As it stands now, I will have to will my way through the transition to healthy solid foods and play "catch-up" with my head. I know now that I could have made it much easier on myself had I been eating and enjoying mostly raw solid foods for a while BEFORE feasting. Ironically, by trying to juice feast my way into raw foods, I may have made my ultimate goal of going raw (raw solids) that much harder to attain. Crap.
Oh well...what's done is done. I realize now that the transition path will be a difficult one for me whether I finish feasting today or in another 38 days. To that end, I've decided to remain feasting-and for these reasons:
1. I don't feel "done." I'm struggling, but I'm still obviously detoxing and at this point, I might as well go for as much detoxing as I can. Maybe something "big" will happen over the next 38 days. In any event, I can't lose anything by getting a cleaner body. After 54 days, I have raised my health to a higher level. Now I'm committed to maintaining it.
2. I realize that in order to ensure a successful transition into a consistently raw lifestyle, I need more mental preparation. Solid foods may be as simple as eating the same foods that I'm juicing now, but in their solid forms. Then again, it may not be that simple. Maybe I'll want something more interesting-new recipes, different flavors. I have no idea how my body is going to respond to solids once I finish feasting. I need time to learn more about the raw food lifestyle and what I can expect.
3. Throughout this feast, I've been unearthing a lot of the answers that lie within. I guess you could say I've been "excavating Ellen", especially on an emotional level. How many more answers might I excavate in another 38 days? Plenty I'm sure.
4. Even though I know a 92-day feast won't "cure" me of SAD food cravings, maybe it will open other parts of me that will make that challenge easier when it's time to transition. I need more time to learn to listen to my body and more practice dealing with those cravings. Juice feasting enables me to do both.
And Speaking of Cravings...
Seven years ago I quit smoking. If was by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. MUCH harder than juice feasting is on the hardest days. It took me several years to completely exorcise my body from craving nicotine. I was hoping the process would be the same for ridding myself of SAD food cravings-time would lessen my cravings. My feaster friends have been telling me that SAD food cravings never really go away-even for long term raw foodies. What??? Ahhhhh!!!!!!!
Not only that, but plenty of what I've read suggests that staying 100% raw is difficult for most people. Those that are super strict with their diets nearly always find themselves talking about "falling off the bandwagon" or having to "get back on track." So why bother being so strict, when you can get so many great benefits of being 70-80% raw?
I'm not sure if I agree with the 1005 way of thinking anymore. To constantly struggle to stay 100% raw for the rest of one's life sounds more like transferring food issues to me. It certainly doesn't sound like a person who has a healthy a relationship with food. I'm looking for health and balance in my life...not trading in one food obsession for another.
What you think and how you feel about the food you eat (while you're eating it) is probably just as important (if not more so) than what you're actually eating. I'm starting to second guess that the 100% raw lifestyle is what is really best for ME. It seems like a logical step for me after feasting, because I'm 100% right now. Still, if I want a piece of pizza (or Gasp! a mug of beer) again someday, I'm not going to send myself to hell for it. Life's WAY to short for that. I don't trust anything (or any lifestyle) that doesn't allow for some give and take. Perhaps high raw would be a better choice for me...Hmmm.....?????
!!Sensitivity alert!!
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Juicy Diary-Day 54(Today's juices & supplements)
32 oz water
1 cup rooibos tea
64 oz apple/plum/black grape
32 oz water
2 cups (12 oz each) rooibos tea
Total Juice = 64 oz (1/2 gallon)
Total Water = 64 oz (1/2 gallon, not counting tea)
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Sleep & dreams: 7 hrs. Dreamt about spiders. Creepy. Wish I could remember the details, but kind of glad I can't :)
Exercise: Gardening
Sauna: Nope
Energy: Good
Comments: Been doing a lot of thinking today. More thinking than juicing. It was a day off for me, so I could afford to deal with the consequences of running a deficit. My body isn't wanting anything right now, so I'm trying to listen, but yet gently encourage at least some juice. I'm hoping to ease out of my little "slump" in the next day or two, maybe even without a renewed taste for juice. I still have no intention of stopping this feast yet. I still have WAY too much to release and to lear. Times are tough, but brighter days are just ahead.
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